Why the fuss over being single?

Category: Singles Spit Swap

Post 1 by Little_Mermaid_1989 (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 13:20:35

Why do people make a big deal about being single? It's as if the world would come crashing down if someone doesn't find their soul mate. There are people who do stupid things to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. They totaly change who they are just to get someone's attention. And stupid things like that.
Come on people, being single is not bad at all. You have this freedom to do whatever yoou want. You can go wheer ever you want without having to make excuses or bring someone else along. I mean come on, do you really only want to be with your significant other 24-7? Or do you want sometime for just yourself now and then?
What do you know about being single? You might ask me. Well, I'm as single as they get! Never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, I've never flirted, and I've never had anyone approach me either. And that's the way I like.
So, for those of you out there ripping your veins out cause you don't have a love life, just stop drowning your pain in misery. Get out there and enjoy life. Cause you only get to live once, you might as well enjoy it well.

Post 2 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 17:11:46

No, you shouldn't try to completely change who you are just to make someone love you. If you do that, they won't actually love you at all. But there's no need to be so bitter about it either. If 2 people fall in love, and have a good relationship, and love each other for who they are, then you shouldn't try to say that's a bad thing. Sure, it's cool not to be tied down, but if you truly have as good of a relationship as you say you do, the other person won't mind giving you some alone time once in awhile. And think about people in long distance relationships, you could say they're still living the single life because they can go out and do things without having to take their significant other everywhere. It can actually help them feel less lonely. So no, I don't like desperate, clingy people, and I don't think being single is a plague or something, but there are definite advantages to being in a relationship that you shouldn't just ignore, unless you believe in celibacy.

Post 3 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 21:37:51

Without trying both sides though, you really don't know what it's like. All you know is the single life, so when you have actually had a boyfriend, i'll be interested to see if anything changes for you. With that said, I do enjoy being single. I only answer to myself, I'm free to do whatever the hell I want, and with whom I want.

Post 4 by Little_Mermaid_1989 (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 26-Jul-2008 0:39:05

*smiles* I wasn't saying that being single is the only way to go. If someone is in a good, strong, healthy realationship, than that's great! Those 2 people should do their best to keep their love gooing. All I was saying, is that if someone is single, they shouldn't get all depressed. Cause one's life shouldn't be sout just cause they don't have a love life. And yeah, I've never had a boyfriend, but I have been in love. And I loved that feeling. And even if things didn't work out between me and the boy i loved, I still like being single.

Post 5 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Saturday, 26-Jul-2008 2:09:44

I'll have to agree with you on that one. I know people who simply cannot function unless they are in a relationship, which makes them pick less than desireable partners simply because they're in such a hurry to find one.

Post 6 by HotPerro (I live and breathe the board) on Saturday, 26-Jul-2008 2:13:35

I was gonna say Laura, I've definitely seen you flirt. A little unconventionally, but you've done it.
I'm pretty happy with my girlfriend, but I definitely miss being single. I'd say it's about even, between the people that love being single, and those who feel, as you said, like it's the end of the world. As for myself, I know I'd be single for a long time, if i were to end my current relationship, for the reasons mentioned on previous posts. I definitely don't feel like i have to answer to her, but in order to maintain the trust, there's certain restrictions I feel I have to abide by.

Post 7 by Little_Mermaid_1989 (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 26-Jul-2008 17:07:52

l.o.l. Hmm, I'll take your word for it Daniel. If I have flirted before, I've done it without meaning to. I should have specified by saying that I'm not the kind of girl who goes up to a guy and flirts on purpose. If I have flirted, it's out of my control. l.o.l.

Post 8 by YankeeFanForLife! (Picapiedra: king of the boards!) on Tuesday, 29-Jul-2008 4:11:15

Hmmm, ay ay ay!

Post 9 by louisa (move over school!) on Tuesday, 29-Jul-2008 15:56:41

Post 1 never said that being single is the only way or anything like that. And to answer your question it's what society expects. Dating and that kind of thing is considered the norm. I do agree with you, there's nothing wrong with being single.

Post 10 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Tuesday, 29-Jul-2008 23:12:49

Singleness Sucks Sooo Much.

Post 11 by kev (Zone BBS Addict) on Thursday, 31-Jul-2008 21:19:56

well, i will admit, it is lonely, but, hey, look at it this way, no worrying about did you talk to that girl without my permision? being single is being free.

Post 12 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Friday, 29-Aug-2008 4:22:49

yeah, being single isn't bad. freedom, as laura had said. but having someone is nice as well...

Post 13 by Sweet Barbie (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 15-Oct-2008 2:13:45

Being single is fun.. I mean you can be doing whatever with someone and not even worry "Will he or she be upset if I did this or that?" LOL
Then there's a downside to it too. But i love the upside of it.. LOL!

Post 14 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Monday, 27-Oct-2008 0:57:58

lol, want to use that upside to it sometime? lol

Post 15 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 27-Oct-2008 13:51:45

single is better if you ask me

Post 16 by SEPTEMBER-TWILIGHT (CAN I TALK? PLEASE?) on Monday, 27-Oct-2008 15:00:56

lol. I used to love being single. It was the best feeling ever. Being in a relationship is nice too, but sometimes, I want to do things and not beng afraid that my bf s gong to be mad or what ever, lol. but yeah, i don't understand how girls and guys can be like so depressed if they don't have a signifcant other, just have fun while you're sngle, lol.

Post 17 by Rune Knight (Ancient Demon - Darkness will always conquer Light!) on Tuesday, 28-Oct-2008 2:19:36

You I can see what your saying being single really is the better life you especially 2 year and a half tie down relationship I had 3 years or so back. it's all I could ever ask for is my freedom back.

There's alot of upsides to being single
A. You don't have to answer to anyone.
B. Also remember the times where you go to hang out with your friend's of the opposite sex and then you bf/gf acuses you of cheating them even though you hadn't done anything out of line. That is a very good upside to this being single, no more getting bitched at.

Well these are the only things I can think of.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't mind being single for the rest of my life, However fater has control over your your life sometimes you may find that special someone. I've chosen not to rush these things, have fun while you can, you only have one life. Because once that special person appears in your life you may marry and be tied down for the rest of it unless you find a way to fuck it up, but then again why would you hurt them?

Just some thought to thow at you.
Sorry for rambling so much

Post 18 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 07-Nov-2008 23:26:20

Hey, I'll admit it can get lonely at times but that's life I guess.

Post 19 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Saturday, 08-Nov-2008 1:43:21

agree with above poster.
you shouldn't put people down just because you can't understand it. Yes, you can have your opinion, but trying to justify it by saying "you only have one life, live it; get out ant enjoy it" bla bla, could be taken badly. some people just don't feel adequate unless they can share their life with someone else; that's the way of it. and there is many reasons for that.
loneliness is terrible. As long as people don't hurt others, I don't think we should be so quick to judge others' feelings.

Post 20 by Click_Clash (No Average Angel) on Saturday, 15-Nov-2008 0:50:01

Here's my take (lol-it still sometimes surprises me how numerous and strong my opinions are about dating, relationships, and sex, considering I have virtually no experience in any of those areas. But I have been in love 3 times, none of which have led to anything unfortunately, and I know what I like and don't like about being single, as well as what I would and wouldn't like in a relationship (if anyone wants to know more of my opinions, I recently posted a survey about that in "Dating and Relationships").

The single life has great advantages, in that you can choose whether or not you want to play the field and can flirt, date, and, if you so choose, have sexual relations with whomever you like, as long as no one involved is in a committed relationship.

But the vibe I'm getting from a few people on this board is the view that when you're no longer single, you lose any semblance of freedom. That's not true, and it should never be that way. Of course you should be faithful to your significant other, no doubt about it. But that doesn't mean you don't still live your own life, separate from your significant other. A good relationship is one in which the parties involved trust each other and communicate enough that they can go out with their own friends, whether they be guy or girl, and do whatever they like without being made to feel bad or accused of cheating. And anyone who insists on the contrary in a relationship has a control issue.

Furthermore, I don't think that depression over being single should consume you, but I can understand someone who hasn't had much luck with love being lonely for that special connection and actively looking for it. I don't mean that one's whole life should be about finding a significant other, but I do believe that it can be nicely incorporated into one's life.

I'm sort of in that situation right now. The guy I was in love with got into a relationship. I had seen it coming and had been preparing myself for it not by making moves on other people but by considering other possibilities in the event that I found myself forced to move on. That time came, and it was not easy, at all. I'm not sure that my heart is completely healed yet, which is why, until I talked with a friend, I was feeling guilty about taking a fancy to someone else. But at the same time, I'm 21, have never been in a relationship, and know that I deserve to be happy with someone. My friend said, "You're right, and why not jump at an opportunity while it's there?"

I've already experienced missing an opportunity to be with someone I really liked, and would care never to experience it again. So, I guess I'm on the road to making up my mind.

Post 21 by tear drop (No longer looking for a prince, merely a pauper with potential!!!!!) on Friday, 21-Nov-2008 23:56:23

being single is not bad, it gives one a chance to work on themselves. i think one must be ok with themselves before they can fully give any partner the love and attention she/she deserves.

Post 22 by Click_Clash (No Average Angel) on Saturday, 22-Nov-2008 12:50:20

I agree. Being confident in yourself without worrying about what others think of you is a real turn-on, as long as you're not so confident that you're arrogant. I understand that everyone has insecurities at some point, but ultimately, no one can help you get over them but you.

Becky

Post 23 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Thursday, 18-Jun-2009 4:19:45

that's why it's nice to have a partner that isn't too controling and gets it, that you have your own set of rights... Uh, constitutional?

Post 24 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Saturday, 22-Aug-2009 13:36:26

Someone had said in an earlier post that you can talk to people freely without having the other person ask, "Didy o utalk to that girl without my permission," or something similar to that type of question. Honestly, if I were dating someone, I would hope he would be okay with me talking to guys and girls and not get so suspicious and anxious if I do talk to a guy. That would tell me he can be controlling. Know what I mean?

Post 25 by Click_Clash (No Average Angel) on Monday, 24-Aug-2009 14:09:52

Hear hear! I dare anyone I date to *ever* require their permission of me to do anything. lol. That would be the end of that.

Post 26 by lilo (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 05-Sep-2009 17:44:04

Being single is not that bad. Supposedly, it is different for different people. Luckily I was on both sides, single and in relationships. I love being single. It is so free and I'm lucky that I don't need people to fill my life. I'm never lonely. So no relationships aren't bad, but being single is way better. As a previous poster says, you get to know yourself, and also you can establish yourself in life.